My newly wed sister is constantly bragging about how great marriage is... and her husband that left her the cutest encouraging note... and today he folded the towels on her bed to look like birds reminding her of their honeymoon... and cleaned the house. Her picture text was accompanied with the phrase.
#"When you already live in heaven."....
It has touched my tuckered out heart and caused me to reminisce. I did those super cheesy things like writing "11 reasons I love you", a note to celebrate the day 11-11-11. I remember crying as I walked to college classes knowing I wouldn't see my husband the ENTIRE day. I remember wondering what the point of marriage was if we would spend our days apart locked in different labs to study. Yes I was cheesy, I was young, I even worried if we were to get married would we become less close and not need each other as much.
I had seen married couples that functioned withOUT texting throughout class. Would we become that?
On my wedding day I overheard my sweet-grandpa-Bill take Shane by the shoulder and say, "Boy you think you love her now? You just wait..." Because of my mindset on marriage and wondering how it could ever get better than this I couldn't help but continue to mull over this conversation for what has now been nine years.
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Today as I am writing this it is past eight-o-clock and I still wonder if maybe my husband might make it home earlier than normal. I don't cry like that young college girl used to. Why?
I know that when I truly need my husband he will be there and he will cover 100% of our responsibilities if needed.
I know that I am strong and can be trusted with covering 100% of our responsibilities if needed.
That trust is something gained through trials. A love born from the struggle of trying to have kids, the struggle of having kids, the struggle of finding a job, the struggle of having a job that asks too much. Trials have helped me to love more deeply while relying on each other and taking a step into the dark.
Recently I broke my leg and the way I showed Shane today that I loved him is I never gave up.
I cried as I struggled to mop up with my one good leg the pond of cranberry juice, popcorn grease trail, and shattered glass. (All three of which are hazardous on my crutches. Thanks kids.) I yelled... I got frustrated... I apologized... But I fought. The days are hard but nothing says I love you more than not giving up on the priorities we have together.
Shane and I are more bonded in purpose than ever and yes we can function even apart. We both fulfill responsibilities beyond our own capabilities and have to rely on each other and our Savior and that is where I see the love.
I LOVE YOU is in the struggle and dedication of a diligent spouse. This kind of love is the cake and is so substantial.
But the adorable make me sick love is the icing and should be sprinkled on with a heavy hand.
