God in Society

Calling the town I grew up in a "small town" is an understatement.

 I graduated with a class of fourteen. Fourteen of the same people in every progressive class until high school when several of my elective classes had three students. We knew everything about each other. But, I feel like I was conditioned to not be all of me when I was taught to check God and testimony at the door.  

In elementary school I remember answering a question about who is the oldest person who ever lived? Well scripture has several extreme examples and I was excited to top the other answers. I remember feeling shame as my answers were brushed away and even mocked and I was asked to be quiet. Something I knew as truth was discarded and I was forced to submit in silence. (What an opportunity this would have been for him to say yes you have a unique perspective on this write me a paragraph on this and we will discuss it later.) 

Seeking to answer in an acceptable way became a pattern. How do I explain this to them in a way they can understand?

In high school English we had to create books about anything. I studied the word of God from modern prophets and outlined their doctrine. When my teacher asked what my collection was I said, "A collection of quotes that I like." I had learned to keep my life separate. This was safe for me and less awkward for them. It made it so I didn't share my passion. I didn't share what really motivated me and my priorities. When these things are hidden people miss knowing you and you miss out on being challenged and growing.  

In high school sports I remember the coach yelling at me," If you can't lead this team we will put someone in that can." I remember her yelling LEAD at me and me yelling to try to motivate my teammates. But really I had no idea how to get people to follow me. I think now that was partly because on a whole I had hid me, at least the parts that connect people. I also think that my coaches and teachers could have better motivated and inspired me if they knew what was important to me. But God is not something to be shared at school. Who told me that I am not sure. 

My daughter recently came home from school and told me she is having to write a paragraph with four supporting facts on her favorite holiday. She had chosen Easter and could not come up with a fourth reason. She had three facts like candy, friends, parties. I asked her why she did not have anything like the fact that Christ was resurrected making it possible to overcome death and live with God and our families forever. You know the real reason we celebrate and not just bunnies. Her response, "Well, mom it is for school." I let it go because I knew what she meant. Some how she has received the same notion that it is better to be two people. This has me sad mostly for others who may never fully know her. 

Some people may think it should be easier to exclude God. But most decisions I make are founded on my beliefs. Even like how much time I will spend exercising, or how clean I will keep my house. It is all based on trying to be the best discipline of Christ that I can. 

True- I am more than just my religion,
but I do not know how to separate it, because my religion is me.

I wish there was a way to make people feel accepted and comfortable sharing beliefs. I am not talking about forcing everyone to say the pledge of allegiance. Forcing people to say under God when they do not believe it is the same as dismissing my belief in a God. I remember before a volleyball game our coach gathering the team for a prayer that felt forced, and I felt bad for those who I knew did not desire to do that. 

Let me share this experience that is still a prominent memory. It was the night before State Volleyball and I was in a hotel room with three other players. It was completely dark and I never felt more seen and accepted. An upperclassman asked me to lead our apartment in a prayer to help us prepare for what tomorrow would bring. Everyone agreed and the words came naturally. It was a time when I was able to be whole with my friends and complete with myself. 

I wish for my children that speaking of religion and beliefs becomes more accepted rather than something to be feared. 

FHE

I am so grateful for the many opportunities I have to teach my children about subjects that matter most to me. (Kindness, Faith, God, Temples, Family, Repentance, Humility) With the new come follow me program the kids are learning the scriptures, but it also gives me the chance to bare testimony of the truth contained in the Book of Mormon and Bible. I think maybe the kids enjoy it because it prolongs bedtime but they are learning and asking questions. We get to act out the stories. Usually nothing big and organized; more like, "Demitri, show us what it means to fear and tremble exceedingly." We are learning and growing as a family with our focus on Christ.

For family home evening last Sunday we talked about Lehi's vision of the tree of life. I used a ball of yarn as the iron rod and I wound it around everything! The string led the kids through the bathtub, under the table, sometimes forward and sometimes back. I was hesitant to do this because I thought it might just be too pinterest like (you know a lot of sparkle with no substance). But I as an adult learned and loved it as we shared this experience. We started the kids in the stinky bathroom with all the lights off. So complete darkness and chaos because this was a new experience. We began with a song, I am a child of God, and then Paisley said the prayer. It was instant that peace and happiness abode as we sang of truths even though the darkness had not changed. I then began to explain how we needed to follow the string to figure out where the tree of life was. Daphney later talked about how "she felt more relaxed and excited when she knew there was a plan and a purpose to get back to the light and out of darkness." I love that!

I felt the concern of father Lehi as I watched my son try to be first and so rather than always hang onto the rope he would bounce around the strings grabbing hold of which ever one seemed to be going the right way. I was surprised by my feelings watching him. I wished he would find joy in the journey and not miss the experience by simply trying to get to the destination. I want to remember that when I have to wait upon the Lord. 

Things that have become relevant from LEHI'S VISION. 

iron rod is the word of God - 

I could always match those two phrases together, but this time I think I finally understood the pleading of a prophet of God to strive to be true to the commandments. There are many issues that I don't know or understand and consequently I am so grateful for a prophet and the scriptures that I can lean on and know that they speak truth so that I can go forward. I have a renewed motivation to know and hold sacred their words.

mist of darkness-  

One day I was driving through a blizzard while taking a baby to the Urgent care. I had been feeling anxiety trying to plan and be ready for the future and you know figure out what that is supposed to be. I was thinking about some of these issues when I took in my surroundings and was like oh no where am I? (literally three blocks from home/ blizzard was that bad that I couldn't see the houses.) I had impressed into my mind, "You are not meant to see through the darkness." What a relief that was to me. It took off some of the pressure I had placed on myself and renewed my determination to hold fast to the truths that I did know.

fruit of the tree- 

I had always pictured this long journey that people go on and eventually if they are good and endure to the end they got this reward of partaking to the tree of life. And while there may be truth to that I never correlated the fruit to be something that we could partake of daily as we seek and partake in the love of God. This was life changing.

great and spacious building- 

 Maybe it is because of social media and people being able to argue about everything, but when I was younger I felt support of my standards. I had friends that would inconvenience themselves in an effort to encourage and respect my beliefs even though they were different. Now I feel like truth in large part is being mocked and degraded. I have been called uneducated, intolerant, old-fashioned, uncultured, and faulty. These voices are loud and they're like never before. Not just for our church but for people of all religion fighting for right. Hold to the rod and let the words of others strengthen your resolve.