Becoming a Master Wife

One week down:

My husband just started his masters and now Shane works and studies long hours so responsibility to watch the kids falls primarily on my shoulders.  Orientation week was tough as I considered Shane's long hours he would be away and the pending responsibility of adding a newborn to the list not to mention the actual labor and delivery if he is far away on campus with the car and I have two toddlers with me to ride in an ambulance. Praying if that actually happens that we dont get there and they say it is just false labor... However this week has emotionally been better for me.

Today I was babbling on the telephone to Shane because adult interaction is rare and he is one of those people that if you take a breath or think about what you are going to say he will inevitably find a way to slip in a closing "got to go". Anyways I was quickly listing what the kids and I had done on this rainy day, and he said "wow sounds like you have had a terrible day!" And I defended my day with well no it is just average like the kids are getting along pretty well and... He stopped me and said, "It is pretty sad that your average  day is in the terrible range."
That kind of made me happy at first that he was noticing how hard I work, but then I thought of all the things that did happen that day and week and yes they were mostly negative (including once again getting locked out of the house without diapers, food, money, and car but with several hours to kill before Shane would get home)- so what was making this week better than the last? Why was I happy?

Well have you ever been given the advice to prepare dinner while the kids nap or make sure and clean the house during naps so you aren't trying to clean while the kids are following you tearing up things behind you. Great advice if it works for you, but on Monday I decided it was a lie and threw it out the window. I decided every other paid employee gets breaks and lunches- nap time would be my break. Nobody eased my load but I did it myself. It is a choice that costs nothing so try it out.

Here is what you do:
During nap time do whatever makes you happy. Be SELFISH  (not a common luxury for a mom) with what you spend your time doing it is yours with no strings attached or expectations. Accomplish something that priority wise may be at the bottom of the list but sounds exciting and fun, or take a nap or watch an episode. You are the boss of this break.

Now when the kids wake up I am not exausted. I am not frustrated that the kids only took half a nap and I still have a million things I did not get done.
I am not feeling guilty that I did not use my time wisely. I do not feel that my life is one endless to do list because it now has distinct sections. Amazingly sometimes I find what I want to do is the dishes or freezer meals but my attitude has changed because I chose to do those things. I view the dishes as a personal benefit not as another service or trial. This mind set allows me to still feel in charge of my life even when the load does not change.
I know you may wonder well don't you feel guilty when the house is a mess at the end of the day or you have no dinner? Honestly I don't because I know during "working hours" (not nap time) I did all that I could.

Everyone deserves a break if you are not given one because of your personal situation take responsibility to provide yourself one.