Which is the most ridiculous?
Example #1: DAPHNEY- Stubbornly insisted on her sippy-cup being stored in her boot.
Why.. really? Does it taste better? Does it keep it warmer? Is it contraband? Nobody really knows why...
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Example #2: Katie- Struggled Trimming the Bush
All summer I have been waiting to trim this beast of a bush and it is finally close enough to fall that I was allowed to try and remove half of its bulk. I clipped and clipped and clipped until my shoulders ached and my body cried, "The Jones... (Breathe) have... (Breathe) beastly bushes". Definitely the new pink!
It was about this time that my husband pulled up for lunch and said, "you know we have an electric trimmer right?" - This is my second bush he has seen me do and he is just now telling me this! (PS. My first bush, I did better on that type of bush than anyone else in the whole entire neighborhood. I might need to make a career out of shaping bushes; it takes a great deal of artistic ability. Just think me and Edward Scissor-hands passing notes and swapping stories!)
Anxious to shave that beastly bush I hurried back out after lunch. The kids watched as we all stood in awe at the amazing power that this machine had that my muscles had not so eloquently displayed. Seriously Daphney and I simultaneously breathed out an awe/wow a few times! I was in that act of showing my daughter how a real women gets a job done when the machine kind of shorted out and then ran and then shorted out and slowly came to a stop and did not turn back on. The bush looked like Alfalfa's hair at this point so I hurried to check the plugs of the extension cord. It was still plugged in. I tried another outlet- nothing! Come on; the tool only had two buttons surely I could master turning it on and keeping it on. Sadly I admitted defeat and wound the cord up and put the machine away.
When my husband came home and saw the Mr. Alfalfa bush he gave me the eyebrows raised and slightly skewed look and then the question of what happened.
"Seriously Shane I just can't do it. I wasn't meant to trim bushes my dream is crushed into a pulp."
Like a good husband looking out for my dream, and wanting to make the bush look like it wasn't decorated for Halloween Shane went out to sort out the problem. He is so amazing; took him like 5 seconds outside. He came in carrying the new electric cord that I had completely sliced through. Well not completely, all the way through the wires but just not the plastic on the other side too. So our cord is sliced like Nearly Headless Nick is decapitated. That dangling orange end there was easy not to notice... Seriously not the stupidest thing right?!
It was about this time that my husband pulled up for lunch and said, "you know we have an electric trimmer right?" - This is my second bush he has seen me do and he is just now telling me this! (PS. My first bush, I did better on that type of bush than anyone else in the whole entire neighborhood. I might need to make a career out of shaping bushes; it takes a great deal of artistic ability. Just think me and Edward Scissor-hands passing notes and swapping stories!)
Anxious to shave that beastly bush I hurried back out after lunch. The kids watched as we all stood in awe at the amazing power that this machine had that my muscles had not so eloquently displayed. Seriously Daphney and I simultaneously breathed out an awe/wow a few times! I was in that act of showing my daughter how a real women gets a job done when the machine kind of shorted out and then ran and then shorted out and slowly came to a stop and did not turn back on. The bush looked like Alfalfa's hair at this point so I hurried to check the plugs of the extension cord. It was still plugged in. I tried another outlet- nothing! Come on; the tool only had two buttons surely I could master turning it on and keeping it on. Sadly I admitted defeat and wound the cord up and put the machine away.
When my husband came home and saw the Mr. Alfalfa bush he gave me the eyebrows raised and slightly skewed look and then the question of what happened.
"Seriously Shane I just can't do it. I wasn't meant to trim bushes my dream is crushed into a pulp."
Like a good husband looking out for my dream, and wanting to make the bush look like it wasn't decorated for Halloween Shane went out to sort out the problem. He is so amazing; took him like 5 seconds outside. He came in carrying the new electric cord that I had completely sliced through. Well not completely, all the way through the wires but just not the plastic on the other side too. So our cord is sliced like Nearly Headless Nick is decapitated. That dangling orange end there was easy not to notice... Seriously not the stupidest thing right?!
Example #3: Shane- Buying Light Sabers
So for Halloween I always force my family to dress up and have a silly stupid seriously fun family outing. This year we are planning on being star wars characters. I am not going to pretend to know anything about it or even try to find out about it, because I swear by looking online you could find whole books just on why producers chose certain colors for the character's light saber. I am choosing pink for Daphney's because it is a girly color, and I don't care that it doesn't really exist.
Anyways, Shane being again the amazing husband he is and not wanting to look like a goof (he not knowing that is a requirement) decided to help me look online for costume parts. I told him I was going to have to make the light sabers, because they were too expensive.
He took the challenge and found six for six dollars, and because of prime got free shipping. They were cheap looking but would work. After he had ordered them I was looking at the page and noticed that a little LEGO Yoda man was holding a lightsaber. I asked, "Shane you don't suppose that they are only like a centimeter long do you?" HAHA Even after my begs that we could go ahead and please use those awesome things... he canceled the order. It would have been the funniest to have that tiny box show up in our mailbox.
Anyways, Shane being again the amazing husband he is and not wanting to look like a goof (he not knowing that is a requirement) decided to help me look online for costume parts. I told him I was going to have to make the light sabers, because they were too expensive.
He took the challenge and found six for six dollars, and because of prime got free shipping. They were cheap looking but would work. After he had ordered them I was looking at the page and noticed that a little LEGO Yoda man was holding a lightsaber. I asked, "Shane you don't suppose that they are only like a centimeter long do you?" HAHA Even after my begs that we could go ahead and please use those awesome things... he canceled the order. It would have been the funniest to have that tiny box show up in our mailbox.
Oh my goodness! You had me cracking up!! Steve even came in from the other room to see what was so funny!! Keep up the good work. I LOVE reading your blog!!
ReplyDeleteShane's story reminds me of when Katie's uncle shawn was about 7 yrs old he worked all spring selling seeds so he could get a boom-box. When it came he learned what the word mock meant as in mock boom-box. He threw it at the wall.
ReplyDelete